Alright, let’s jump in. So in my interview with Stricturism, a mentor of sorts, I learned a lot about the basics. All of the information you find in the quotes is from him.
So we’re ready to rumble. We’ve decided we wanna tie someone up, but we don’t know what kinda rope we should use.
“You want to use jute, you want to use hemp rope, or you want to use, um, a polypropylene synthetic rope you can get at Lowe's. You want it to be anywhere from 6mm to 8mm in diameter. The wrong kinds pf rope are things like sisal or things that have rough edges.”
Stricturism goes on to say, “Rope that is natural fiber, which is in my opinion the best, hemp or jute rope, I make my own, you have to finish it. You sand off the edges, you burn off the little bits, and you oil with a very neutral mineral oil to make it pliable. Remember, you don’t want to use anything with little pokey bits. That’s not good.”
I, myself, have the run of the mill synthetic rope since it was a super cheap impulse buy. I’d argue any of the three will run you 10 to 20 bucks for 25 feet. I did a Google gander and saw that there are different varieties and quantities that can be purchased online for more (or less) money. Do your research and find something you like.
My question: Walk me through the safety. Gimme some steps! Let’s pretend I have no experience. I wanna go tie up fill-in-the-blank girlfriend/boyfriend. Where do I start?
“Find someone who you recognize as someone who you want to emulate. And just like anything else, be it baking a cake or learning how to fight, you emulate what they do.”
“Then you learn which part is done for fringe benefits and which is done this way simply because it’s safer, and branch out on your own.”
I'll admit, I totally skipped Step 1. I thought that after learning the safety part I could just jump right in and figure it out as I went. The reality is, having a mentor and copying them means you can learn the basics and increase your creativity. A stronger foundation means less danger when ya get a little...inspired.
Now that we’ve bought rope and found a role model, we can strip down to our birthday suits and gitter dunn, right? WRONG! Practice before you play and keep your clothes on.
“Spend a couple hours, you know, find someone fun to tie up. And with all their clothes on. That’s one thing I always stress to people. Everyone wants to get nekked while we learn howda do rope. No. Don’t. Because once people start taking clothes off, their attention wavers. Nobody’s paying attention. Keep your clothes on. Just a T-shirt and a pair of shorts or underwear. Whatever. Aaand, put on a good three-hour long movie, put on The Godfather. One or two, cuz three sucked ass. And just have that playing while you go over the same ties over and over, until you can just wake up out of a dead sleep and perform it.”
Because we want to really learn rope skills, we have to respect the craft. It’s easy to imagine getting worked up by the kinky group project and jumping back into old reliable sex without even fully exploring the rope possibilities.
We should practice the techniques over and over again, because “it’s just like learning another language, you have to dedicate the time to doing it. Say I’m gonna take a half an hour every day and work on a single a single column tie, double column tie.”
Which makes sense. Because let’s be real, you’re gonna want to grab the rope in the middle of the night, at a time when you want to impress. You don’t wanna be fumbling around and lose the power dynamic you’re hoping to create in the first place.
Now, you’re ready to go. But let’s talk emergencies. Let’s talk about things when they aren’t going so hot.
Stricturism’s five-minute rule
“I always tell people gimme five minutes. When you’re in a situation, what a lot of people do is they’ll be tied in a situation enjoying themselves or maybe they’re tired or maybe they’re too warm or they’re too cold or something has changed inside them. Don’t wait until that moment to say ‘can you untie me?’ Gimme the five-minute rule. Just say ‘Hey, five minutes.’ That way, I know five minutes from right now you need to be totally untied. Because I’m gonna untie everything backwards.”
Safe word and medical-grade shears
However, when shit hits the fan, Stricturism recommends having a pair of medical-grade shears on hand.
At times when you don’t have five minutes, use your safe word and then you can use the the rope chopping scissors to free your partner and find out what’s wrong.
Remember, this is meant to be fun. Talk to your partner(s) and really explore their specific needs for their specific bodies.
Alrighty! That’s how we get started. Next time, we’ll talk about choosing safe words and I’ll show you my latest rope project.